An opinionated girl penning down her thoughts.🌸❤
I don’t write anymore
About words and phrases,
About feelings and gazes,
About pains and sufferings,
Love and offerings.
I don’t write anymore
About you and me,
About your touch and feels,
About your hoodie that I’d steal,
And love that would heal.
I don’t write anymore
About poems and sonnets,
About songs and verses,
About poetry and calmness,
Serenity and silence.
As my soul longs for love on a stranded night,
my eyes stick on to a yellow folder sitting down in a dusky deserted corner
of my room as if screaming out to me
to open up the jar of memories etched in it.
I turn the white pages which had these little red hearts at the end of every next sentence.
Somewhere between holding his hand, resting my head on his shoulder, caressing his hair, making wishes for us on nights like these,
tasting his lips which were as sweet as sugar,
making love during the dusk of winters,
that silent comforting smile of his,
the silences of love which never needed words,
the awkward stares in between the conversation just to adore each other,
the twirling of fingers in crowded places so that we never get away from each other’s gaze,
the cracks in the hearts that brought light in each other’s life,
the soft feels of love that told me that you are mine
to the dried up conversations and muffled cries,
to the uncertainties in smiles,
to the distance between the hearts that could no more be filled with love,
to silent sufferings and darkness inside our minds,
I remembered it all.
The hearts at the end of the sentences aren’t broken, the heart you sent me in the chat is still beating unlike ours.
Moments stay. Memories stay. Every little thing stays.
It’s not the days, months or years but the moments that remain
and they haunt us on days and nights like these
when we try our best to row away from the ocean of memories.
F.R.I.E.N.D.S is a series you can hop onto any time, any day or any moment and it is always going to bring a smile on your face. But it is more than just fun and entertainment. There’s so much to learn from every character of the show.
Monica Geller
• There is always someone waiting for you who would make you believe in yourself and embrace the beautiful mess you are. Someday you’ll stop crying over your Richard and find your Chandler.
• Our generation needs to learn from Monica, how to be tidy and organised. It is good to have things in order instead of scattered around making a mess. Let’s start keeping everything ‘Monica clean’
Well our mothers are no less than Monica😅
• Work your way through your relationships. No one is perfect in this world, accept it. Monica and Chandler accepted each other for who they were yet found each other imperfectly perfect.
• ‘Welcome to the real world, it sucks. You’re gonna love it.’ This line has been etched to my heart since the day I heard it because that was the time when I was really entering the real world. You were right Monica, the real world sucks and I’m loving as well as hating it at the same time.
• The best thing I learnt from Monica is that one can balance both personal and professional life as efficiently as anything else. Also, a woman can be the breadwinner of the family too.
Chandler Bing
• It’s okay to be vulnerable and desperate for love. We are humans and we need to be loved and belonged.
• There is no age to find your passion. You can start the journey to finding your passion anytime you want. Nothing can stop you if you make up your mind just the way Chandler did and quit his job to find his interest in advertising.
• Marrying your best friend can turn out to be the best decision you could ever make. It may be scary and you may get cold feet but it can turn out to be the best decision of your life. What’s better than your best friend turning into your life partner and irritating you lifelong?🤭
• It is said that laughter is the best medicine so the best thing you could give to someone is a good laugh just like Chandler used his sarcasm to make everyone around him laugh and kept his friends smiling even in the toughest of circumstances.
• Best friends are like family or maybe even closer. They are like gems that you need to keep safely with you just like Chandler kept Joey. They always had each other back.
Ross Geller
• Sometimes your sandwich can be the only good thing in your life. That’s exactly how I feel nowadays. Food is the only good thing in my life. Everything else is a mess.
• It’s okay to be jealous at times but if jealousy escalates, it can kill your relationship. It is important to give space and time to your partner. Insecurity, jealousy and lack of communication is the key to the failure of a relationship.
• All thanks to Ross for helping me learn the difference between ‘you’re’ and ‘your.’ It is not always bad to be a grammar nazi.
• There is a difference between a break and a breakup. Please learn it before you jeopardise your relationship like Ross did.
• Patience and persistence is what can make you succeed in life. If something is meant for you, it will happen to you even if it takes 10 years to happen.
Rachel Green
• If you make up your mind, you can turn from a dependant spoiled girl to an independent single mother. Nothing can stop you if you don’t lose hope and keep on striving towards achieving your goals.
• You can always turn your passion into your career just the way Rachel did. From being a fashion enthusiast to entering the fashion industry, she made it through.
• Falling is a part of life. You may fall in your love life or your professional life but what counts is getting up again with all your zeal just the way Rachel did every time she fell.
• Being a crybaby does not mean that you are weak. You are just a sensitive, kind and pure-hearted human but in tough times you need to save your ass and kick out others.
• First times are difficult but can never be forgotten just the way Rachel did. The first time she went to the laundry, the first time she got a job, the first time she gave birth. Nothing was easy for her but she did it anyhow. You can do it too.
Phoebe Buffay
• It’s okay to be weird even if no one understands you because sooner or later, you’re gonna meet your Mike who is going to find you wonderfully weird and love you for who you are instead of trying to change you.
• Learn to say a NO because you can’t always please others by keeping your happiness and comfort aside. Quoting the classic line by Phoebe Buffay ‘I wish I could but I don’t want to.’
• Believe in yourself and be self-confident because until and unless you don’t believe in yourself, how will someone else believe in you?
• Being truthful is important even if it hurts. Sometimes the truth is harsh but it is better to tell the truth than to deceive or give fake hope to people.
• The little things in life like riding a bicycle or playing with a dollhouse matter more than anything else. There’s no age for the first time. Embrace the little things in life.
Joey Tribbiani
• Well I understand that it is difficult to choose between food and sex if you are someone like Joey but all I know is that if you are like him, you’re the purest person. We all need to learn to be pure and kind from Joey.
• Joey made me learn to accept the way I am when he said, ‘I’m curvy and I like it.’ You’re beautiful and loved the way you are. Don’t even try to change yourself for the world and just tell them to fuck off.
• Growing up does not mean that you’ll let the child in you die. Let that child live in you and you’ll stay happy forever. How I wish I could go back to being a child because this adult life literally sucks.
• The world won’t ever be satisfied even if you do everything they wanted so just follow your heart even if the world is against you. You know way better about yourself than anyone else.
• Learn to be a friend like Joey. He gave up on his love for friendship, understood his friends and was always there to hug them when they needed one.
For how long will you wander around
trying to find peace in other people?
It’s been long, come back home to me now.
You search for a home by drawing maps
on women’s skin trying to find a place
where you can live,
You go to their arms,
sleep in them trying to soothe your soul,
You present them your broken heart
thinking they can rebuild it again
and make it whole,
But they barely care
about your good heart anymore.
They do try to build it
but for their own sake.
They make you vulnerable to love
and then leave breaking your heart a bit more,
taking you a little further away from your home.
Little by little,
brick by brick,
they shatter your heart
again and again and again.
You see,
the world isn’t as good as you used to think.
It isn’t as good as you said when you left me,
when you left your home.
I’m here and still waiting,
your place in my heart is still vacant.
I won’t let anyone come in here
because it’s your place.
You do not need to wander anymore.
Stop roaming around to fulfil
your desperate need of love.
Come to me, dwell in my arms,
live in my heart.
I’m waiting.
Come back to your home.
“Wounds don’t heal with time,” I told myself as I walked through my past once again. Why is it so that every time we try to get away from something, it follows us? Why are we reminded of the same old scars time and again?
No matter how hard we try to let go of certain things, the universe collides us with them. The old wounds which I buried deep inside of me months ago felt fresh again today. Why do you still wear the watch I gifted you? Why didn’t you just break it or throw it away just the way you did with my heart? I saw you trying to hide it from me. What are you so afraid of?
You brushed past me as if you don’t even know me. Just mere eye contact and you walked away like a stranger. Did I not make any impact in your life in these three years, the time when you used to admit that you loved me. But why did you turn around again to see me? Why were your eyes filled with tears which you tried to hide from me?
I believe that these questions will also remain unanswered just like various others which eat me up every single day. Didn’t I deserve an answer? Didn’t you owe me an explanation for everything? Why did you leave me in a dilemma?
You never healed my wounds but clawed upon them which hurt and made them visible to everyone. Today, you freshened them and made me weak again. Today, you left me unanswered again
Healing is not a smooth process. It comes with its ups and downs. It’s okay to have breakdowns in between. Give yourself a pause or a break. Believe in the process. It will all work out in the end. Hard days are as important as good days. Don’t be harsh on yourself. Be kind.
What is anxiety?
Anxiety is a mental health disorder. It’s a natural response of your body to stress that affects daily activities. It’s normal to feel anxious but when anxiety escalates and interferes with your daily activities, you may be suffering from an anxiety disorder and it needs to be treated as soon as possible.
Types of anxiety disorders.
Panic disorder
Panic disorders result in panic attacks due to sudden, recurring and intense feeling of fear. They’re accompanied by physical symptoms like chest pain, accelerated heartbeat, body shivers, heat waves etc.
Social anxiety disorder
Social anxiety disorder or social phobia is characterized by the fear of feeling embarrassed, criticized or excessive self-consciousness while socializing.
Obsessive-compulsive disorder
OCD is characterized by repetitive or recurrent behaviour like washing, cleaning, dusting, counting or checking. It involves repetitive behaviours to avoid feelings of anxiety.
Post-traumatic stress disorder
PTSD develops after a person is exposed to some terrifying or threatening event in which their life was threatened or they were hurt. it can be triggered due to assaults, murder, natural or man-made disasters or accidents.
Generalised anxiety disorder
It is characterised by excessive worry, exaggerated tension and chronic anxiety and is directly related to overthinking about little things that may or may not affect you.
Symptoms of anxiety.
Physical symptoms
•Shortness of breath
•Accelerated heartbeat
•Sweating
•Heatwaves
•Stomach issues
•Dizziness
•Body pain
•Shaking or trembling
Mental symptoms
•Overthinking
•Feeling of fear
•Difficulty concentrating
•Racing thoughts
How to relieve anxiety?
Anxiety disorders may not stay with you life long if treated correctly. It can be managed and dealt with.
•Take proper medications
•Go for therapy sessions
•Don’t let your fear dominate you
•Go for Psychotherapy
•Get better sleep
•Eat right and exercise
•Try meditation and breathing exercises
•Socialize with people
1) Mental health problems are not so common
It is found that 1 in 4 people have a mental health condition. One of the most common mental health problems is depression followed by anxiety issues. During the pandemic, the number of people experiencing depression has tripled.
2) Mental health illness does not affect the physical health
Mental health problems do affect physical health and vice versa. Symptoms may differ for different mental health problems. For instance, a person may experience sudden heat waves, cold feet, sweating, fever, racing heartbeat, shivers, breathlessness, tightened chest, tense muscle, headache, stomach issues etc. So, it is important to treat mental health problems rightly as they may lead to severe physical health conditions.
3) Mental health problems are permanent and lifelong
Mental health problems don’t stick with you forever. With the right care and medication, you can fight it. For some people, mental illness can recur throughout their life but for some, it can be cured completely and they can live their life to the fullest.
4) People with mental illness are always sad and pessimistic
People dealing with a mental health problem can look as happy as a normal person, work with all their potential and socialize with people. There’s no specific way to identify a person struggling with a mental health problem. Some people may have episodes of sadness and may feel down but they aren’t always sad or pessimistic.
5) Anxiety isn’t a real illness
Being anxious and worried is common for everyone. For instance, you may go to a job interview or appear for an exam and your hands or legs may tremble because of being anxious or nervous. So that is very common because we experience it almost daily. But when anxiety escalates, it is a serious condition and may lead to anxiety attacks too. Severe anxiety may show physical symptoms like stomach issues, racing heartbeat, tightened chest, body shivers etc. Anxiety disorders can be greatly distressing and unsettling.
6) Medication is the only way to cure anxiety and depression.
Medications are a part of the treatment for anxiety and depression. Different mental illness requires different treatments some of which are therapy, cognitive behavioural exercise, meditation, relaxation techniques etc.
You tried, you tried your best to be self enough, to gain strength, to make your heart stronger and honestly, you even got better. But then there always comes a day when you break down. You would just lay on the bed at 2 a.m. thinking about what went wrong and why were you never enough. You’d doubt and question yourself if there’s something wrong with me. Nothing would seem right at that moment.
Suddenly all the strength that you put for days to better yourself and make yourself stronger would go to waste and you would find yourself standing at the same place where you started from. Your heart would become heavy and tears would rush down your cheeks. The shower of tears wouldn’t stop until you force yourself to sleep.
You know, there will be days when everything will fall just like a tree shedding its leaves in autumn. You will break down. Your hope, your strength everything will break and you’ll lose it all but just remember that it will never be the end.
Every time I lost it all, I started all over again. I would ask myself to buck up and make all my dreams come true. I would remind myself that I may not be perfect but I’m enough for myself and so should you.
Everyone has flaws. Embrace them. You are enough. Don’t unnecessarily pressurize yourself. Give yourself a tight hug and move on. You never know what the future holds for you. This is life and it will be over just in a blink of an eye.
The world knows how bad are the conditions in India due to the second wave of the pandemic. Today India reported 3.6 lakh cases. On Tuesday it reported over 3000 deaths. The crematoriums are flooded with dead bodies and people have to wait for their turn to get their loved ones cremated. People don’t even get to see their loved ones, talk to them or bid a final goodbye to them for one last time. I get to hear some or the other relative dying every day and it breaks my heart a little every time I hear people dying. Every second house has someone who is tested positive. Some of my family members tested positive too. Everything is collapsing in India be it the people, the Government or the healthcare system.
We are lacking basic medical needs like oxygen, hospital beds, ambulances, medicines etc. What can be worse for a country than its people dying due to the lack of oxygen and ventilators? Who should we blame now? Everyone is responsible for it be it the common man or the government.
People are still not taking it seriously. We are in a situation when we have to double mask ourselves but some people find it difficult to put on just one mask. They are responsible for their lives but they don’t take it seriously. They can’t stay home for a few days and cannot stop themselves from celebrating festivals and marriages. Even at this point, people are black marketing the essential supplies. I don’t know if they even have a heart or are pure evil. Some people are trying to help day and night and some are using the circumstances as an opportunity to make money.
Talking of the Government, we are losing hopes from them. The government allowed the Kumbh Mela to take place where 28 lakh people gathered in a single day and our Prime Minister called the event ‘symbolic’. In Uttar Pradesh, FIR is being filed against people asking for oxygen on social media platforms. The Election Commission allowed rallies to take place for elections. The dumb people came out to take part in the rallies and the ministers didn’t think for a second to make speeches in public places with gatherings. They did not remember any rules or protocols at all. But the EC did suspend rallies later on but it was too late until then. Now every second person in Kolkata is testing positive.
It has been quite a few days now yet people are struggling to get oxygen. People are dying begging for oxygen. 20 people died in 48 hours due to the lack of oxygen. Innocent souls are dying and there is nothing we can do.
But we are thankful for all the countries helping us in this hour of need (Saudi Arabia, USA, Pakistan, Singapore, UK, China etc.) We can’t say enough thanks to the doctors who are working day and night and staying away from their families to save the lives of people. Hope we heal soon and come out of this pandemic which is much worse than a disaster. We are in this together and we will make it through.
The Eternal Words 